vulnerability

!!!!  HANDLE WITH CARE  !!!!

Do you know how it feels like to put your heart on the line?

That all too familiar feeling. Throwing yourself off the cliff of belief and hope that the rope of trust would secure you and eventually not let you crash right down. 

You just recovered from a major fall. Your bones heal. They were once broken, but through some way or another you got them to heal and you fixed yourself. It was far from easy. It took awhile but you eventually managed to anyway. You told yourself, nothing will make me take the risk and jump off again. Nothing ever. There is only so much your body can take... and you know it. 

Someone brings you back to that very same cliff. And you simulate the jump. 

Oh did it feel good, felt amazing. 

In that moment, the pains of your previous fall didn't seem that big of a deal anymore. It didn't scare you away from free falling anymore. The love for the jump became more apparent to you. 

That was in that moment.

Your fears grip you from time to time, just when you thought you were over them; they get to you. 

You love the jump, you wanna take the rope of trust again but it's just so difficult.

But, how are you gonna live if you're too scared to die?

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I don't wanna act like a baby and cry myself over such a seemingly trivial matter. 

but it's just so fucking scary and i'm just so afraid you know? 

I really am

Ughkheifsflinqkjbsdjfgui gosh, i'm such a loser.