random night rant

Hi anyone who's still awake at this hour.

Sometimes you just have so much on your mind.. its really hard to just "sleep it off".

I over-think quite a lot, but well my body's clock is screwed up as well.

Results for Os are coming out like... in approx 5-8 days? 

I'm worried. 

I really don't want to disappoint my parents, especially my Dad. He has such great expectations of me, I really hope he won't be upset.

I don't want to disappoint myself. After all the solid long hours put in at the airport just studying, the one thing i honestly hate to do sometimes. I mean, it isn't a natural inclination. For me.

I don't want to disappoint Shawn. The one person who went through 85% of the hell with me.

I remembered how I was going through this period when I felt like a piece of useless thing. Cause that's what everyone was telling me. About how lousy my results were and shit. 

We were on the bus and he showed me the Hall of fame music video. He said sometimes although you feel like you're failing at everything and everyone tells you that you can't do it, just pull through and work hard, and don't ever give up.

It meant a lot to a emotionally unbalanced person like me at that time. It gave me this, emotional boost.

I've been pretty much bumming around through post Os period. 

I honestly worked hard for it. Albeit the fact that i started slightly late... I really worked my ass off.

It's just so frustrating how some people can achieve amazing grades so seemingly effortless. Really.

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I don't know if my parents read my blog... if they do...

-gasps

If any of you realise, I don't really go deep on like, things revolving my life that may cause my parents to want to speak to me, yeah that kinda stuff.

But I realised that I have to start opening up somewhere or i'll just explode.

So i guess i'll start by blogging. :-):-) lol

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Times like these, I'd really appreciate.
 

Goodnight x