Sunday, October 13, 2013



My talented father doing his archery.
Didn't plan on doing this, but well.
Honestly, I dont know why my dad and I keep having fights. 
We aren't VERY close but, not very distant either.
I was never a good daughter. I always got myself into trouble when I was younger, and I thank him for bearing with my mess. 
As I started to grow older, into my upper sec years and now, I feel like i'm really making an effort to have conversations with him and try to update him about my life.

But somehow, we still cant seem to see eye to eye at times.

I'll never be "daddy's girl". I've come to terms with that.
But I don't wanna bear grudges towards him, or him being unhappy with me all the time.
I think he feels that I mirror my mum, in the way she talks and behaves.
The thing is, they don't get along very well. Which is why he probably hates me at times because i'm like a mini her.

He doesn't see the bigger picture though.
I'm like him in many ways too. We both have strong personalities and are also very opinionated.
We share the passion for old music, both English and Chinese. 
I picked up shooting, which was also a sport he picked up when he was younger.
I have his small eyes, which i've learnt to embrace wholeheartedly.

Why can't he see these things in me?
I may have certain characteristics that my mum has. 
But I'm not her. Why do you treat me like how you treat her? 
I know I get on his nerves all the time. But I always end up apologizing.
Why can't he just let it go? 
Is our father & daughter r/s not worth more than a petty squabble?
Maybe it isn't. His pride is probably more important. 
HIM being right is more important in his eyes.

After reading this article by elitedaily, I don't wanna regret not telling/showing my parents that I love them and I really appreciate them. I wanna do my part as a filial daughter, to try and start showing my appreciation to him because he is getting older with each passing day.
It's not easy, but i'm willing to try. 
I am sorry for all the times I appear to be rude to him etc, but why can't he just let these arguments go?
It's emotionally draining for me, and the entire household while our "cold war" is going on.

If anything, these arguments have taught me to appreciate my other family members.
It has definitely always brought me closer to my mum and Nicholas, my brother.
My mum and I have our arguments too. But she always lets them go. 
Maybe that's why I feel close to her at times, because I know she won't ignore me because of a petty argument.
Nicholas is my youngest brother and he is 6 years younger than me.
Even though he can't do much, and he is also my dad's favourite, he will always offer to help me do things (like helping me get my pappy, charging my phone etc.) These acts may not be much, but it does show that he cares.

I still hope that my dad will learn to value me over the arguments we have or conflicts that seem unresolvable. 
He is my father after all, the one that loved me so much when I was younger, the one that never failed to provide things that would make me happy (like surprising me with my iPhone and whatsapping me to check how i'm doing). 

Similarities sometimes bring people together. They usually do.
Maybe this is something similar about the both of us. 
We never know how to show our love for each other through the right ways.

Sadly, this similarity brings us apart.






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