this post doesn't quite make sense

Yes, its a picture of us again.

It's 11:05pm and I should probably get my GP essay outline done asap (for my anal gp tcher) (who's gonna make me stay back tmrw) (fml).

But no, I can't seem to bring myself to complete it. So yes here I am.

I would say this is a form of escapism, which in my definition is to do other things that allows me to not do what i'm suppose to be doing.

I'm sorry if my blog is flooded with boring pictures of Shawn+I and school mates...

I have a very uninteresting life, with nothing much going on. 

I guess this is a space that's becoming much more personal to me cause although I don't have a lot of things going on right now, there are things going on and I just need an outlet. (does this make sense)

Shawn makes me happy, not superficially. It's not easy cause i'm always so messed up on the inside... with so much going on in my head.

He is there when I'm thoroughly upset, there when I need to share my joy with someone. 

It's probably due to the fact that I don't really have friends that bother to patronise me, but then again he doesn't really too, so we have each other. I guess when you think don't have things to be grateful for, you find the slightest things to be grateful for.

It's not because we are more than friends that I find comfort and joy in/with him. I would say even if we don't work out in the future, he'll still be my best friend (more like my soulmate), cause it's hard to find another that can understand you so well and still accept you as you are. 

Everyday it gets harder. I feel a bit more inadequate in every aspect, and it just breaks me down further.

Not being able to catch up in class, clearly knowing on the inside that I am very far behind academically. Getting excluded in conversations, as much as I try to be nice. Knowing time is running short and I may be the very cause of my own downfall. Trying to catchup but it seems almost impossible. Not being able to bring myself to do shit cause' I don't know where to start and when I do I hit road blocks and hide away like a coward.

As much as I try to tell myself it's okay to not to be regarded, I suppose I just have to get used to this. 

it's even harder to tell yourself to get back on track when you come home to know that there's problems between your parents. It's worse when you realise, honestly no one gives a shit. 

Move on. Kids in Africa are starving. Stop whining. 

I need to learn to be a noble gas (as quoted from prudence eons ago), unreactive.

Keep your head held high. Here's to anyone who feels like shit, you're not alone and it's okay to feel that way. Just don't let it get to you

loneliness

Sometimes we try too hard for people who don't deserve it.

Sometimes we yearn so much for any form of company, 

from people that just patronise us.

Maybe some people are just meant to be lonely.

NO do not blame it on their character or personality.

"You try so hard but you don't succeed, get what you want but not what you need."

Superficial friendships all around, but sometimes it hurts less to have some rather than none.

Well it's about time to embrace loneliness.

USS STUDENT PASS

In my attempt to keep my blog alive. haha

So these are a few pics taken on the weekend we decided to get the USS student pass heh

getting there is quite a hassle though:( at least to me.

My family had the sentosa islander card which grants unlimited access..

but expired alr so wtv haha.

Taking the monorail costs $4 if we use our ezlink cards,

which is considered ex alr cause USS is only one stop away >:(

So yup, for the sake of saving $$$, we walk to sentosa!

Save money + don't need to squeeze with tourists :-)

It's tough being with someone who's not in your school + not in the same acad route as you + ends school late + when your parents don't know abt you two.

but again, if you really want something to work out, it won't be easy, but it will if you put in the effort.

Days like these are so precious! 

When you don't have THAT much time together during the week, sweating and eating Doritos together is quite fulfilling (trust me, it is)

Short post but i'll be back with more soon hehe

ask.fm/annabelannabelz

till then x